I feel seen in this article in so many ways.
Whilst we have very different experiences in our pasts, I cut my father out of my life many years ago and I am forever being asked what will I do when he dies or what it would take for us to build a new relationship.
The truth of it is there cannot be any relationship good or bad because I have dealt with the hatred and now I’m indifferent.
I’m indifferent to his life and I’ll likely be indifferent to his death.
And like you I’ve noticed that those who ask the questions are those that have never experienced genuine fear and real abuse at the hands of their parent. Lucky them but also fuck them!