I really do empathize with you. You seem very torn between how you are being perceived and wanting to explain who you are.

I'll be honest with you: I am a straight woman, so I do not understand the struggles that are weighing you down.

What I will say is that I was a person who always built platonic yet intimate friendships with my co-workers. Many became some of my closest friends who remain to this day. If any of them had told me they were gay, bi, trans, a lizard, it would not have mattered one iota to me because I love them as people.

However, I also would never expect them to tell me their sexual preferences, nor would I feel that they were being dishonest with me if I found out later about their sexuality.

We straight folk seem to never have to explain who we love, and perhaps I'm simple-minded, but I don't understand why anyone in the LGBTQ community needs to explain who they love.

If telling your co-workers about your lifestyle will help you to move forward, then do it. If they judge you or have any reaction other than acceptance, then they are not good, decent people, and they don't deserve your honesty.

Good luck with whatever you do.