Please don’t apologize for expressing how you feel. It sounds like you have been through a really tough time, and gone through experiences that most people, including your friends can never understand.
What isn’t ok in my eyes is that your friends seem to be brushing your experiences and feelings under the rug and are not acknowledging that they were absent when you most needed them.
You should tell them how their absence at that time stings, and it’s not so easy for you to just move on and forget the disappointment you feel towards them. If they can’t acknowledge they did wrong then maybe they are friendships that deserve to stay in the past?
I don’t know, but I feel like in my life I’ve had enough chaos that I’m happy to be without friends in my life who only add to it.
Thank you for reading my article and I’m touched that it resonated with you